There are many reasons why Doug Elliott needs to diet successfully:

• His doctor has made it clear that unless there is significant weight loss, the following may occur
  • His thumbs may turn purple and fall off
  • His left leg may begin to shrink, causing him to walk in circles
  • He may start to have delusions of adequacy
  • There may be more occurrences of wetting the bed
• There are some risks to public safety
  • if that belt buckle ever gives way, the shrapnel could be deadly
  • if he insists on practicing yoga, a fall could endanger anyone nearby
  • having a center of gravity the size of Manitoba means that canoe trips have an increased risk of capsizing, putting the person in the bow in danger.

The season's festive gatherings have not been kind to Doug's “Waist Mangement”, and the weight graph continues to illustrate the up hill battle. Although there was recent progress allowing Doug to see his feet, sustained improvement is needed. This is an ongoing project.

The willingness of friends and family to make suggestions is greatly appreciated, although they would be taken more seriously if those attempting to help could keep a straight face.

Everyone is invited to add their suggestions to the following list:

• put a time lock on the fridge, and the cupboards
• get an alarm clock to get his retired butt out of bed before noon
• connect his laptop & radios to a treadmill, so they only work if he is exercising
• get him to dress better. He'd look thinner if he didn't dress like a scarecrow